My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
