So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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