i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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