hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
and she was petting her beer can
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
