Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
