at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
