At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
These tits shall not be calmed
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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