Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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