Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
