Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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