More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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