This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
