you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
