Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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