there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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