let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
