READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
