You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
