I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
