you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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