PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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