State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
