these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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