C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
