Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
