Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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