just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
