Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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