i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
