You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
