He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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