I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
