whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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