ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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