taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
i believe in u and ur pee
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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