Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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