AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
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