Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
