I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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