She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
