we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
