you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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