I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
