now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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