No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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