HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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