I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
