so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
So squirting runs in the family.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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