He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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