Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
it wasn't lemon gatorade
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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