This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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