I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
